“Real”

so... this is my life now

From the moment B put a ring on it, I’ve heard the same question over and over again: “Does it feel real yet?!”

I was not the little girl who dreamt of her wedding day. Somehow, my parents taught me to think beyond marriage when I planned my future. I’m more practical about relationships than idealistic. So, asking me if “it” feels real is…odd. Duh, it’s real. Why else would I get married? But, no, it didn’t feel like some childhood dream had come true…because that wasn’t my childhood dream. My answer to the constant question felt formulated, detached from myself. My pseudo-ecstatic assent was something I said just to fit in with “the girls.”

My giddy, girly smile is genuine, I promise.

Seven months after the wedding, we finally bought a coffee table to complete my dining-room-turned-library. The library that’s been my dream since I first saw Beauty and the…

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